


How Long Will I Love You?

by MarleneDFan1901



Category: Mädchen in Uniform | Girls in Uniform (1931), Mädchen in Uniform | Girls in Uniform (1958)
Genre: Dorothea Wieck, F/F, Hertha Thiele, Lilli Palmer, Romy Schneider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28791081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarleneDFan1901/pseuds/MarleneDFan1901
Relationships: Elisabeth von Bernburg/Manuela von Meinhardis
Kudos: 10





	How Long Will I Love You?

**Manuela**

**1920**

I never stopped thinking about her. Not really. Every once in a while, she’d come into my mind. I’d wonder how she is, what she’s up to, if she’s happy that she left. I’d told myself a million times that I’d moved on. I have a wonderful man that I’m seeing, he lets me work in local stage plays, and I’m happy with him. The happiest I’ve been since I left the school at 16. 

“Manuela, isn’t your school gathering in a few minutes?” Michael asked. 

“I’m almost ready!” I called as I looked at myself in the mirror. As a joke, Ilse, Yvette and I decided to wear our old uniforms. I never thought mine would fit, but I’ve proven myself wrong. 

“What is that?” Michael asked. 

“My uniform from secondary school. A couple friends and I are wearing them as a joke. Can you believe this ugly thing fits?” I laughed. “I was 14 when I wore this. Maybe 15.” I gasped as I realized I forgot my gloves. 

“Would you like to come?” I asked as I kissed his cheek.

“No. You enjoy yourself.” 

He has no idea about what happened to me there my first year. He has no idea about me getting drunk and making a fool of myself. He has no idea about **_her._** As I walked out the door, I could feel nerves begin to set in. Why? I knew she wasn’t going to be there, I couldn’t get in trouble for an innocent joke such as this either. I took a deep breath when I felt the car pull up to the school and stop. 

“Thank you, sir.” I paid him and got out to see Ilse and Yvette waiting for me in their uniforms. 

“Oh my. Don’t tell me that’s your original uniform, Manuela.” Ilse laughed. 

“It is. It’s kind of ridiculous, isn’t it?” I laughed along. “Is anyone else here yet?” 

“Fräulein von Bernburg came back the week after you left. She’s going to be here soon. Any minute, I think.” Yvette said. 

_ Oh no.  _ I thought. I didn’t want to see her out of fear of my feelings coming back. I saw her walk out of the front door leading into that depressing school. In the same yellow dress she wore when she told me she was leaving. I wanted to run away and hide, but my legs wouldn’t let me move. It was almost as if I was frozen in place. 

“What are you girls doing wearing those?” Fräulein von Bernburg asked with a smile on her face. I wanted to curtsy out of habit.

“We’ve done this as a joke.” 

I looked at her eyes, her beautiful eyes. They haven’t changed in ten years. I could feel butterflies as she looked at me. 

“Manuela, how are you?” She smiled again.

“I’m good, Fräulein von Bernburg. How are you?”

“I’m great.” 

I tried to read her facial expression to try and see what she was really saying and she didn’t seem genuine in her words. Not that she seemed terribly sad, but I don’t know if she was really as great as she says she is. I had questions I wanted to ask her about her life now that I couldn’t get out of my mouth. I kept staring at her as she talked to Ilse and Yvette. 

_ I knew this would happen. _ I thought to myself. I’d felt the same way about Fräulein von Bernburg now as I did ten years ago. 

“Manuela.” Ilse nudged me. 

“Mmm?” I looked at her. 

“You have  _ feelings?  _ Again?” 

“They never really left, I guess.” I replied as I watched Fräulein von Bernburg walk away to talk to other former classmates. 

I began to walk with my friends into the school and remember the feelings of being here. It also still smelled the same. Depressing. 

“Manuela, come here.” I heard Fräulein von Bernburg call and saw her gesture for me to follow her. As I walked toward her, I fantasized about what she was going to do and say. 

“How are you?” She asked. 

“I’m good. You asked me earlier.”

“I know, but that was in front of your friends. Now it’s just you and me. So, How are things? Do you have a beau?”

“I do. His name is Michael.” I smiled thinking about him.

“Are you two married?”

“No, just courting at the moment. Do you have anyone?”

“I did, but we had to end it when they found out I was coming back to the school. Now I’m considered  **_damaged goods_ ** . Whatever that means.” Fräulein von Bernburg rolled her eyes. 

“You’re not  **_damaged goods._ ** ” I smiled at her. She put her hands on my shoulders and she came a bit closer to me. Pressing her lips to my forehead, I felt a sudden burst in my heart. 

“Thank you.” 

“Fräulein von Bernburg, may I be bold for a moment and share a secret with you?” 

“Of course.” 

“I haven’t stopped.” I sighed. 

“‘Haven’t stopped?’” She asked. 

“Yes. I haven’t stopped thinking of you since you left. Even though I’d told myself a million times it wasn’t right for me to feel this way, I still did. I’m sorry Fräulein von Bernburg, this has been a burden on my chest since I was 17 and I needed to let it go.” I didn’t let myself cry in front of her. 

“Manuela. I understand how you feel. I’ve been in your place before. Can I tell you a story that I’ve never told anyone else?” 

I nodded. 

“When I was in university getting my teaching degree, I fell in love with a teacher. Just as you did with me in secondary school. I fell head over heels for this teacher and one day I told  **her** how I felt, but I was sober and told her in private. She was receptive and told me what I told you; that it was sin and I was to never feel this way again. She didn’t get angry with me or report me to the headmaster. We went about our business after that. She was the one I was with right before I came back here.” I’d never seen Fräulein von Bernburg get so vulnerable before. I liked it. I finally had someone who understood what I went through all those years ago. 

“I want to see you again after this.” I blurted. I was sure of it. 

“Manuela…” 

“I’m sure of it. At least lunch. One lunch and that’s it.” 

“Ok. Let’s have lunch. How’s Friday afternoon?” 

“I’d like that.” I smiled as I turned to walk away. I felt as if I was floating from excitement. I looked around to see if anyone saw me walk out of her office. I knew I needed to tell Ilse and Yvette about this. 

“ **Meinhardis!** ” The headmistress called. I turned to see her approaching me, cane still banging the ground as she walked, but she seemed more frail now. 

“Hello, headmistress. How are you?” I looked her in the eyes.

“Fine. What were you doing?” She asked sternly.

“Talking to Fräulein von Bernburg.” I saw her turn around and I heard the cane banging as she walked. I hated that sound to this day. It got on all of my nerves. Every last one. I walked down the stairs, feeling 14 again. I looked around just as I did on my first day. 

“Manuela, where were you?” Yvette asked. 

“I was in Fräulein von Bernburg’s room. We’re going out to lunch on Friday.” 

“What about your beau?” 

I forgot about him. I wasn’t even thinking of him when I asked her either. 

“I’ll be honest with him. He’s supportive. It’s just lunch anyway.” What if he wanted to go, too? I didn’t want him there, to be honest. I wanted to be alone with Fräulein von Bernburg. I love him, but I wanted to be alone with her. I constantly thought of how to tell him, what to tell him and hoping he’d be supportive. I could wing it and hope for the best, right?  _ Right? _ I began to laugh in my head. I knew all I could do is wing it. It’s an innocent lunch. Gal pals going to lunch. Gals being pals at lunch.  _ Right? _ I looked at Yvette as she talked about her life with her husband in Berlin, her wonderful children and their dog. They had the life I thought I’d have by now. 

I waited for the car to come for me as I thought of Michael at home, not knowing that I’m lunching with a gal that I’m pals with. I looked out of the window and looked at the buildings it went by. I’d fantasized about walking down these streets with Fräulein von Bernburg as a teenager, even now, those fantasies came back in a heartbeat. I watched as I saw myself with her on the sidewalk, daring to hold her hand. 

“Manuela? Are you ok?” Michael asked.

“Yes, why?” I asked.

“You didn’t even flinch when I said we were going shopping.” 

“I’m sorry, I guess my mind isn’t here today. I asked my former history teacher out to lunch on Friday afternoon and she said yes. I guess I’m just...excited.” I smiled. 

“Do you want me there with you?” 

“It’s just one lunch. It’s innocent and friendly. I’ll be fine.” 

“Ok.” 

I wish I could tell him how I’m really feeling about going to lunch with her. While I am excited, there’s more to it than excitement. I feel like a school girl seeing her crush after she finds out he likes her back. 

_ No. I can’t feel like this, it’s wrong, a sin. I love Michael. A lot. _ I looked over at him and felt a small spark of a feeling, but it wasn’t what I felt just four months ago. It was hardly a spark of a feeling. 

**Friday**

I waited at a table for her to arrive. I was nervous, excited, and giddy all at once. I didn’t want to rush up to her as she walked toward me. 

“Hi!” I hugged her, probably a little longer than I should have. 

“Manuela, you can call me Elizabeth.” She smiled as she sat down. 

“How are you?” 

“Same as I was three days ago. How are you?” 

“I’m good as well.” I smiled at how beautiful she looks today. 

“You look nice.” Elizabeth pointed out.

“Thank you. As do you. Can we walk a bit after this?” 

“I’d like that.” 

We talked about everything we could think about. I told her how I was less happy with Michael since I saw her again. 

“I have to go. I have to get back to the school in an hour.” Elizabeth got up.

“Wait! Elizabeth.” I’d paid as I ran up to her and kissed her on the cheek.

“Manuela!” Elizabeth yelled. She took my hand and dragged me into an ally. She pressed her lips to mine and kissed me back. This was what i’d been fantasizing about….part of it. I leaned back against the wall as Elizabeth and I kept our lips pressed together. I put my arms around her waist and pulled her body closer to mine. 

“I really have to go,” Elizabeth pulled away and left me in the alley. “I love you.” She turned to look at me one more time before walking toward the train station. 

“How was lunch?” Michael asked as I closed the door behind me.

“It was good. I’m sorry I’m so late, we walked a little after the restaurant. I’ll get dinner started.” I subtly fixed my lipstick as I walked upstairs to change out of my dress. 


End file.
